Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
