the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
