Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
