You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
