Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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