Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My ass is underappreciated
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
