I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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