sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
there is glitter all over my balls
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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