so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
