Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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