so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
