I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize