i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
