Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
