Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
