She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
