Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
