i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
