mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
