As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
