The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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