Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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