are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
