is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize