Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
