i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
