you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She bit a glass in half.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
