you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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