Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
