Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
