Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
