it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
