I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
