I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
