I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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