Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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