You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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