I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
