David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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