she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
