Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize