I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
