just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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