sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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