I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
