no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
