So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
