But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
