my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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