where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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