Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize