I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
