I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
