Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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