windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
In America we eat man semen.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
