the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
