I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
