so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
