can u get pink eye on your cock?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
