Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
