The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm experimenting with sincerity
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
