Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
