You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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