I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she peed on how many people?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
