dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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