didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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