my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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