Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
