I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They took my balls.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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