Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
