Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
