i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just had sex on a roof
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
