he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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